PART ONE: THE BITS
In an effort to help listeners, both new and old, understand our show a little better (and to give Coach Hurt the final pick), I am creating the KYSPORTGUYS Cultural Literacy Dictionary. WIth much homage and attribution to Professor Ed Hirsch Jr., I offer our own guide to a few things every KYSPORTSGUYS listener should know.
I begin with the bits. These are games/segments we play during the show. Some make an appearance every show; some not so much.
Are You Here For It: When two or more famous people disagree, we ask the question, “Are you here for it?” Generally, we are here for their disagreements–their Twitter Beefs, if you will. And, for the record, the intro imaging is best if heard on headphones.
Are You Trippin’: When we started this bit, Grayson Allen was notorious for his fast feet on the basketball court at Duke. Even though we thought of retiring this bit, and friend of the show and former UK quarterback Patrick Towles said we should, it seems to be an evergreen. Definitely not trippin’.
Castoff: If there’s such a thing as a Cadillac of bits, most would probably agree that Castoff is our Coup D’Ville. Created by Stocktony on Podcast 11 (way back in 2015), Originating from a Stocktony post in which he proposed using the Walking Dead’s premise of killing major characters to reverse-eliminate the characters of Modern Family (“Traded TV Tropes”), Castoff is an elimination game with an intro song you can’t help dancing to. Given a themed list, the panel “casts off” items one by one (validating each with reasoning), until an ultimate Castoff winner remains. Often controversial and sometimes cutthroat, Castoff is a game that some of our fans tell us they play with their own friends and family. Indeed an honor.
Coach Hurt’s Survival Tip of the Week: Stocktony’s post-apocalyptic intro song is a prelude for what can only be described as a true and necessary survival tip from the wise and greying Coach JHurt.
Could You Do It Better: Only played once, the premise lies within the name. The one and only question to this point: could you act better than Sequon Barkley in his yogurt commercials? The answer: of course you could.
Do You Know the Network: Only played once with an ad-libbed, off-key intro song by Stocktony, this bit ventures to ask if you know on which network a past TV classic resided. Conclusion, we like our TV around here, but rarely have time to play this game.
Here, Taste This: It probably all started on the podcast with Spam back at the compound. From there, many seemingly gross combinations have been tasted on air, often with friends of the show The KY Taste Buds. Conclusion, orange juice and cheerios isn’t bad. Snow cream with hot sauce, surprisingly tasty. Hot dog on a Twinkie, near barf factor for Coach Hurt. Unsurprisingly, Stocktony has yet to be against any food.
How Do You Do: An every-show bit that asks the simple question, “How do you do?” something. The ensuing discussions about pressing issues such as how do you roll a bowling ball or do you put cheese on the top or bottom of a cheeseburger have led to some of our funniest moments and dare we say, most enlightening moments.
Intros: Borrowing from David Letterman, our show opens each week with the theme song and a pithy zing delivered by the golden voice of our tiptop announcer Jordan Deweese…”Two guys who…” Regularly changing, we have had over 200 unique intros between our radio show and the old podcast….Two Guys Who Have a lot of Intros….. Go back and give them a listen.
John Allen’s Fantasy Moment: No one loves fantasy football more than EKU basketball hall of famer and current Metcalfe County agriculture teacher John Allen (and by loves it, I mean “has zero interest in it.”) So, who better to voice the three-second intro imaging and to be the namesake of our fantasy football report?
Magical or Meh: From fantastical imaging to an easily understood and executable premise, we ask if something is magical or meh. This bit has definitely produced a lot of magic….we say, magical!
Open a Can On/For: Our oldest bit, according to Stocktony. Coach Hurt’s disclaimer follows the imaging to let us know that it’s all metaphorical. Please be aware that no people or animals (not even cans) were harmed in the making of this segment. The can is purely figurative. Estimations are that more cans have been opened on things than for them, mostly by Coach Hurt.
Things You Can Count On: With a theme song that has been likened by professional singer/songwriter and friend of the show Kasey Anderson to the Beatles and by friend of the show and long-time caller/listener/contributor The Iceman to John Prine (both with 100% sincerity, to be sure), this bit operates under Murphy’s Law. If something can go wrong, it will, and we will talk about it, possibly ad nauseum.
Two Good Leaps: No one could have foreseen at the moment of the Lady Hornets’ last-second district championship win in 2017 that Coach Hurt’s ill-fated celebration in which he tore a calf muscle on his third jubilant jump would lead to a bit. Alas, here we are. Sometimes it’s best to leap twice in celebration and avoid that third leap. Such is the metaphor.
Two to Listen To: A one-time podcast with the same title, Coach Hurt, Stocktony, and GenZ Gunnar recommend a musical artist to listen to. Originating from a 2017 Stocktony post about Kasey Anderson and Tyler Childers (“Two to Listen To, Too”), we often play this bit when discussing music…one of our favorite things.