Perhaps the most misinterpreted of all the Amendments is the 1st which guarantees free speech. This does NOT mean people can say anything at anytime or that one person’s speech cannot be challenged by another. One cannot yell “Fire” in a crowded theater nor “Bomb” on a plane, at least that is what I learned watching “Something About Mary.”
So, I believe it is well within our rights to….ban the woo.
If you are not a baseball fan perhaps you do not know about the problematic woo. It happens in small markets in mostly empty stadiums and really picks up steam around the 8th or 9th innings when the wooers have obviously had way too much Iron City or Hudepol. Having been cutoff around the 7th, the wooers decide to make a public nuisance of themselves by yelling Ric Flair style “woooo”s for all to hear.
It may top the charts as the most annoying sound you have ever heard. And it needs to stop. Now.
I have been to many sporting events and have heard many awful things. I have heard the know-it-all mansplaining the action to everyone in section B. I have heard the loud drunk yelling profanities at all the players and coaches (usually this guy is shockingly unathletic). I have had to listen to cell phone conversations that had nothing to do with the game. I have heard awful canned music and I have sat frustrated as the crowd did the Wave while the game was going on.
But nothing compares to the Woo.
It hampers the experience of every other fan. It comes across radio and television broadcasts and ruins it too.
So why has nothing been done about it?
Because baseball needs people in the seats. And it would be awfully hard to take some of the handful out because they are wooing. It would play out like a scene from middle school.
The wooer would act in awful and jerk-like fashion but then explain to the media that he was ejected for “yelling” at a ballgame. The media would run with it and the idiot wooer would become a veritable martyr.
So, I guess we are stuck with it unless somebody can legislate or intimidate it out of existence. Maybe the commissioner? Maybe the President? Anyone, please.
But until that happens let me make a simple plea to all you wooers out there: Please stop. You sound like a moron and we are tired of hearing you. Your fifteen minutes of fame need to be over.