You may be a Scrooge or a Grinch each and every holiday season. You might despise the hustle and detest the bustle of the can of frenetic, Capitalistic worms that Black Friday opens up.
Perhaps green and red just don’t do it for you.
Maybe–like Frank Costanza–you simply find tinsel distracting.
Possibly a combination of factors led to a recent survey claiming that almost 70% of people would skip the gift giving aspect of the holidays altogether, if their family and friends agreed to it.
Bah and Humbug indeed!
All that said, heed my words: you must appreciate Santa!
Let’s look at it logically:
Who else gets done what that plump, little elf can accomplish? No one churns out the quantity and quality of presents that the North Pole elf workshop does, year after year. Not since Henry Ford (who some say “borrowed” Santa’s assembly line concept) has a group of workers sped more efficiently towards a common goal of production.
And, when it comes to distribution….word has it that even Bezos is jealous of the alacrity with which Saint Nick dispatches package after glorious package. All shapes and sizes. All clad in beautiful decorative garb, topped with shiny ribbons and bows. All on time despite infuriating holiday gridlock. Logistical perfection.
As for demeanor, consider this: Santa is always jolly. No one ever called him a “grumpy old elf.” Try to forget that outlier curmudgeon from the Rudolph cartoon. The real Santa is happy. Boisterous and proud of his lot in life, Kris Kringle fills those stockings (even the gently used ones) with holiday treats. Father Christmas, no doubt, subscribes to the (Robert) Frost line: “My avocation and my vocation. As my two eyes make one in sight.”
Lastly, and most importantly, the omniscient, ubiquitous man in red aids in the rearing of your children. Never has a young one been more apt to change his or her misbehaving ways than when warned that “Santa is watching!” Toss that phrase into your bag o’ tricks and lessen the short-term load on your disciplining needs.
Look, I’m not saying I’m to the Will-Ferrell-in-Elf level of holiday joy. And, maybe my heart could stand to grow a half size or so, but I’m no “mean one” either. But no matter your opinion of these December times one truth remains: we should all raise a glass (of milk), eat a holiday cookie or ten (but save some for a hungry delivery man on Christmas Eve), and toast to the veritable TOAST of the holiday season–Saint Nick.
Thanks, Santa, and Godspeed.