In an attempt to lure the fickle eyes of giggly teenage girls away from Instagram and Snapchat, Twitter has announced that it considering a revamped reboot of its three-year old “Like” heart to a hipper and more slang-centric “Like Like” button.
“Teenage girls spend a lot of time looking at their phones….like, a lot lot,” a Twitter spokesperson said recently. “We feel, for teen girls, that a comment made by a friend or especially that dreamy guy in gym class with the cute hair that’s just ‘dang…yeaaaahhh…ya know…that’s right, girl….’ deserves a more personal response than just a simple like.”
The spokesperson admitted, however, that results of recent beta tests have been “dismissive, sarcastic, and frankly, a little mean.”
“Forty percent of the responses have been a series of green, vomit emojis supplemented occasionally with ‘whatever’ or ‘like, really, I mean seriously, what the (redacted).’”
When asked about the beta testing and its result with teenage boys, the spokesperson stated that most of the boys had either lost or broken their phones and were currently waiting on the parents to “get a new, not stupid one!”
As of press time, the increasingly defeated spokesperson had just finished responding to a message reading, “Gag me with a maggot!” from the handle @eightiesteenager whose bio claims “will never grow up.”